My story is not the only story of abuse. There are many. Some more horrifying than mine. People may say “Why would such a caring God let someone, especially a child, go through this.” Here is the reason why. God tells us in the Bible life will not be easy. Jesus’ life was not easy. Period. The truth is, if you don’t feel anguish, persecution and trials, unfortunately, many times you just don’t realize that you need GOD. We don’t grow without going through suffering. I dare say that had I not gone through the hardships that I have suffered, my relationship with God would not be what it is today. I found myself drifting further and further away from God. It wasn’t until He was ready for me that this stretch of my journey began. The timing and the direction of the journey have to be in His perfect timing for the impact of His story to be told. You see, it was His timing… not mine.
But…it’s not as simple as waiting for him to be ready for you. That’s not an excuse to just do what you want. You still have to want Him and pursue Him. Then you have to be still and listen and wait for Him.
I think of my story as on the job training. He hand picked me to carry out His purpose. How can I tell others of His grace and love if I haven’t experienced it? As with any job, there are different periods of training depending on what you are being trained for. Fair? My Cardinal mind, my physical body says NO WAY!!!! It was not fair!! But, my spiritual body says…Wait a minute, he loved me enough to give me some on the job training so that I can go out and help others for His Glory. Was it fair that Jesus, God’s son, was mocked, stoned, given a crown of thorns, and then hung on a cross to die? No!! Because of man’s choice to be disobedient, He had to. And oh my goodness, am I so thankful that He did.
Man’s evil desires have caused you and I to endure what isn’t fair. But, God was gracious to us in that He got us through it. We are alive and here to share our stories. Are they heroic stories that will save humanity. No. Absolutely NOT!! But they are stories of survival. They are stories of God’s mercy and grace. Mercy in that He rescued us by whatever means He rescued us. Grace in that we are able to tell others how He saved us. Scarred? Yes! BUT, to me, a distressed piece of furniture is far more beautiful that one straight out of the factory.
No matter where you are in your journey, think of it as on the job training. He has been and is continuing to train you to do just what He knows you are capable of doing. You may not know it yourself yet, but He does. No matter if you turned to drugs and alcohol, or struggle with depression. This is His Story. He chose you to tell it.
Am I happy with my past? NO WAY!! Am I at peace with my past? ABSOLUTELY!!
We come into this world looking for the path to His Kingdom. There are many paths that we will travel that will be a dead end, until we learn to hear Him calling out to us, to steer us to that path that leads straight to Him for the purpose of telling His story so that others may find that same path.